The Whole Time
by TheLaikynVictoria
Summary: After a horrible tragedy, McGee refuses to accept that he is a hero. WARNING: Major character death. COMPLETE
1. Prologue

**_A/N-_**

**_Hey there! This was written for Dreamnz over on NFA for Secret Santa. It has this prologue, four chapters, and an epilogue. Please review! =D  
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"I'm not a hero."

"You are."

"No, I..I couldn't save him.."

"Think of how many lives you did save, Tim."

"No, I can't..I can't.."

"Tim, Tim! Look at me. Look at me, Tim!"

"I messed up. I c-couldn't do it."

"Don't do this, Tim. You did nothing wrong-"

"I did everything wrong!""

You did everything right! You did everything EXACTLY right, Tim!"

"No..I didn't. He died, and I'm alive. How is that right?"

_Two Days Earlier_

McGee could have strangled Gibbs.

Putting him a car with Tony for an hour drive back to DC?

Yeah, he could have strangled him.

"So that's when the Duke appeared out of NOWHERE and, he was holding this watermelon and suddenly, he swung his arm up, showing off his-"

"Tony!" McGee yelled, interrupting Tony's ridiculous re-telling of his dream he'd had the night before. "Please, can we...Can we just have some peace and quiet?"

"Fine, fine." Tony conceded, raising a hand in defeat, the other hand still on the steering wheel.

No more than fifteen seconds later did he reach over and flip on the radio,

"I think I'm paranoid!" Tony sang off-key to _Garbage_.

"Tony!"

"Sorry, sorry." Tony grinned, very pleased in having ticked off McGee. "McGoo wants some quiet, I get it."

McGee, having turned toward Tony, was about to comment on the nickname, when he saw something out of his peripheral vision. He turned, facing the front again and gasped.

A dark SUV was swerving in and out of the cars on the four-lane highway they were on, going easily 100MPH. Three police cars followed behind, going just as fast, as the sirens blared and lights flashed.

"Oh my God..." Tony breathed.

The SUV suddenly cut hard to the right just four cars in front of McGee and Tony, slamming into a mini-van. The mini-van started spinning wildly, the pick-up truck behind it had no time to stop as it slammed into it, sending it forward and then off to the right into a ditch. Tony tried desperately to slow down and avoid the inevitable collision while also trying to ensure that the cars speeding behind them wouldn't hit them.

It didn't work very well.

McGee had seen at least seven different cars be crashed into or crash into another car before it happened. A red, Ford explorer, McGee later remembered, hit their Government-issued Sedan on the front passenger side, just in front of McGee.

Another car hit them from behind, sending them spinning across the median .

"Tim!"

"Tony!"


	2. Chapter 1

**_A/N- Hey hey! I had 15 emails when I woke up this morning, all related in some way to this fan fiction! So I decided to go ahead and post the first chapter. (It IS complete, but since it's short from now on I'll post 1 chapter every two days)  
_**

**_Please review! =D  
_**

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"_A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, he is just braver for five minutes longer."-Ralph Waldo Emerson_

When McGee came to, it felt like he had been out for days, but a quick glance at the clock told him he'd only been out for about fifteen minutes.

Getting his bearings, McGee found himself in a bit of a...Situation.

The sedan was turned on it's left side, the driver's side, down.

Smoke and white, almost steamy fog (probably from the airbags) were floating into the air.

The smell of fire was ever-present.

And the heat.

The unbearable heat.

Finally, McGee realized that a small sports car turned completely upside down directly in front of him was on fire, and the fire was quickly getting bigger.

Suddenly, McGee heard a painful moan from someone next to him.

Tony!

McGee turned to his partner, quickly deducing that he had a serious head injury, which accounted for him being unconscious.

"Come on, Tony, we gotta get out of here." McGee grunted, turning every which way trying to maneuver out of his awkward position to be able to even attempt to get a good grip on Tony.

He then realized that he was in no shape to pull a 180+ lb. man out of the small window that faced to the sky.

Seeing that the windshield was extremely cracked, McGee decided to use that as his way out.

Turning sideways, he reeled back and kicked the windshield as hard as he could, feeling it give a bit.

After giving it another good, hard kick, it suddenly gave in, shards of glass flying everywhere outside the car.

McGee took his jacket off and used to wipe away the stray shards off the threshold before he carefully climbed out, having to jump/fall about three feet before landing on the ground.

"Come on, let's go Tony." He said, wrenching DiNozzo's seatbelt out of the clip. As he gripped Tony tightly under the arms, he noticed pain building in his abdomen area.

That is, he barely noticed it. His adrenaline was running too high for him to notice much of anything but getting Tony out of the car, and getting them both to safety.

After much struggle and an accidental head-bump into the roof of the car, Tony was out and lying on the ground a few yards away from the road. McGee knelt next to him, placing his hand under Tony's chin and shaking gently.

"Tony, wake up, Man." McGee insisted, grabbing Tony's wrist...Just to make sure.

Finding a pulse and deciding that there was nothing he could do by ordering him to wake up, he looked around desperately.

That's when he realized how bad everything truly was.

"Where in the world are DiNozzo and McGee?" Gibbs demanded, slamming his computer mouse repeatedly before standing up from his desk. Ziva watched him in interest, waiting for what he might do or say next.

"David, call them." He ordered, stalking out of the room.

"Probably to get another coffee." Ziva thought to herself as she picked up her office phone. She quickly tapped out Tony's number from memory.

It rang a partial ring before going to voicemail.

"Hey there, you've reached Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo-"

Ziva cut it off by dropping the phone back in the cradle. She picked it up again, dialing McGee's number, now.

"Hello, you have reached the voicemail box of Special Agent Timothy McGee, please le-"

She dropped the phone in the cradle, again, this time leaving it there. Her brow furrowed in confusion, wondering where in the world they were. She turned her attention to the plasma screen, which had the local news on.

"Breaking news, extreme vehicle accident on the Anacostia freeway." The newscaster reported, the film cutting to a chopper view of a mass wreckage on a highway. Ziva frowned.

The last time she talked to Tony, thirty minutes ago, he told her he was just getting on the Anacostia and that he'd call when they were close.

Which should have been twenty minutes ago.

"A suspect trying to evade police officers is what caused the massive wreck." The reporter continued. "At last count, eleven cars, trucks and vans have been involved in some way, and fire and police personnel are still sorting through the wreckage.

"Fires have started spreading from the more serious damage, proving difficult for the law enforcement officers to reach possible survivors and..."

The reporter trailed off, pressing a finger to his ear.

"Uh-huh. Right. This just in, it is reported that two NCIS federal agents were amongst the wreck, one of which is in critical condition. It is not know at this time whether or not they were involved in the chase of the perpetrator. More news will come as we receive it."

Ziva's jaw dropped, her eyes widening as the TV cut to commercial.

"Tony...McGee..." She breathed. "No!"

"What's wrong, Ziva?" She looked up and saw Gibbs re-entering the bullpen carrying a fresh cup of steaming coffee.

"M-McGee...Tony..." She flipped the TV to a different news station, showing the wreck. "They were getting on Anacostia thirty minutes ago and haven't called."

She explained, finally reigning in her shock and getting down to business. "A reporter has just confirmed that two NCIS agents were in the crash and that...That one is in critical condition."

Gibbs watched the news coverage for another few seconds before turning and dropping the coffee into the trash bin,

"lets go."

McGee wandered aimlessly through the streets, in complete shock.

Everything was just a mess.

Everything was just...Destroyed.

Some cars were overturned, others were on fire, and others had completely exploded leaving just a burnt piece of metal.

McGee couldn't even begin to count how many cars were involved as he searched for any sign of help.

There were a few medical personnel scattered throughout the wreckage, tending to whoever they could, but there was no one McGee saw that didn't already have someone injured to tend to.

Finally, on the outside of all the mess, McGee saw countless ambulances, a few aeromedical choppers, and countless police cars and fire trucks. McGee ran towards them, waving his arms.

"Hey, hey! I need help over here!" McGee yelled. A couple of EMTs followed him with a stretcher and their medical bags back to Tony.

"I know he has a bad head injury, but beyond that..I don't know." McGee told them.

One of the EMTs noticed Tony's badge on his belt and turned to McGee to see his as well,

"are you all cops?" He asked, turning back to Tony.

"We're federal agents." McGee said, looking around at the other cars.

So many hurt people, and not enough EMTs...

"What agency?" The other asked as they continued to work on Tony.

"NCIS." McGee replied.

A moan escaped Tony's lips as his eyes slowly fluttered open. McGee hurriedly knelt next to him,

"Tony, you there?"

"Muh...Gee?"

"Yeah, Tony, I'm here." McGee assured him.

"You should...You should do..You..." Tony stuttered. "You should help."

By this time, the EMTs had turned their attention to Tony's apparently cracked knee, so they didn't hear his softly-spoken statement.

"I should help?" McGee repeated, confused.

"Yeah...If you're not hurt, you..You should help the people who are.." Tony whispered. "God knows th-there are...A lot of them."

"I'm not leaving you, Tony." McGee insisted.

"I'm fine...The EMTs have me-ohhhh." He moaned as the EMTs started to move him to get him on the stretcher. "I mean it...McFaithful." Tony almost grinned once they finally had him situated.

"I'll be...Fi-fine."

McGee took Tony's hand and gave it a good squeeze,

"I'll see you later, DiNozzo. Remember that."

Tony gave one last grin in McGee's direction before the EMTs started moving him back towards the ambulances,

"of course, McWorry. I'll see you later."


	3. Chapter 2

**_A/N-Hey! Sorry I didn't post this when I said I was going to. I've been really busy trying to find a job and whatnot, and I kinda forgot about it. =]_**

**_But it's here now! So please review and let me know what you think!  
_**

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"_Show me a hero, and I will write you a tragedy."-Francis Scott Key_

Ziva and Gibbs had expected to hit traffic on their attempt to reach the Anacostia freeway, they just hadn't expected to be waiting in the exact same spot for two and a half hours.

"Gibbs, we are never going to reach the freeway." Ziva stated negatively. "Not in time to find Tony and McGee."

"Maybe, maybe not, but you would have complained if we just waited at NCIS." Gibbs retorted. "Had you not of?"

Gibbs was especially on edge, Ziva noticed, but why wouldn't he be?

There's the prospect that two of his agents, if not dead, are seriously injured, and now, they were going to be stuck in traffic for God knows how long.

Slowly, the cars started moving.

Inch by inch.

By now, McGee had learned that there were a total of twenty-three cars involved in the crash.

Still ignoring the pain in his upper abdomen, he was scouring through the mess, peering into each car, trying to find survivors.

After having no luck in the first few, he finally came across a mini van that contained a woman, maybe in her 20s, a young child and a toddler.

The woman was obviously dead, her head against the steering wheel with blood dripping down to the ground.

But the young child and the toddler were in the backseat, both obviously scared out of their minds. McGee pried the door open and slowly leaned in.

"Hey there." He said softly. They both reeled back in fear, the young boy around 5 protectively wrapping his arms around is little sister.

"Wh-who are you?" He whimpered.

"My name is Tim." McGee told him gently. "I'm a special agent."

He held up his shield from his belt, allowing the boy to see it before he clipped it back on.

"Come on, I'm here to help you." McGee said. "I promise."

The boy shook his head, still leaning against the other far end of the car. McGee was about to say something else, when a familiar smell wafted to his nose. He looked down and saw gas leaking from the car. Fearing the worse, he hardened his voice,

"you need to come with me now." He demanded. "You and your sister might get seriously hurt if you don't come with me."

"What about Mommy!" The boy screeched.

"M-Mommy's not hurting." McGee chose his words carefully so as not to create a lie towards the boy. "I promise, now please, come with me."

The boy hesitantly pulled the girl from her car seat and scooted towards McGee, who scooped the girl up in one arm and the boy in the other.

The girl was small enough for him to wrap his arm up and place his hand firmly on the back of her head, forcing her to bury her face in his shoulder and neck. He didn't want her to see any of what was out here. Anymore then what she's seen already, that is.

"Put your face in my shoulder." McGee told the boy. "Don't look up, I promise we'll be out of here soon."

The boy obliged and buried his head in McGee's shoulder and neck as his sister was.

Just like he feared, the car he'd just pulled the children from burst into flames, it spreading quickly. The boy tried to lift his head up, but McGee's quick yell stopped him,

"no! Head down, put your head down, now!"

After what seemed like an eternity, McGee reached the medical personnel.

"Here, neither of them are noticeably hurt, but..." He trailed off, not wanting to openly say it in front of them.

As an EMT carted the kids off to the side, McGee told the other,

"their mother died. She's in the blue Dodge caravan that just-"

"Yeah, I see." The EMT said sadly, shaking his head. "To think some idiot that tried to get away from the police for petty theft caused all this."

With that, he turned and walked towards the kids.

McGee turned and headed back out, by-passing bodies, EMTs, policeman, fireman and other people trying to help until he reached someone that hadn't been tended to yet.

That's what he'd been doing, finding the people off to the side or who couldn't be heard. He got across the median and came to a small Jeep Cherokee. It was sitting upright, but a large piece of shrapnel had pierced the side of the car, pinning the obviously pregnant woman that sat in the passenger side to the seat. The man in the driver's seat was in hysterics.

He had a long gash going down the side of his head, but McGee decided that it wasn't too deep, so it probably wouldn't cause him much trouble. He also noticed that the man's wrist was obviously broken as he tried to pull the piece of metal away from his wife.

"Help! Please help me, please!" The man was screaming, obviously in pain.

McGee pulled on the man's shoulder, pulling him back into the seat.

"Sir, please calm down." He said. "I'm a federal agent, let me help you."

"My..My wife, she' pregnant and.."

"I know. I know, sir. Please get out of the car and go towards the ambulances-"

"No, I'm not leaving her!"

"Sir, you're in no position to help her." McGee said in a calm, even tone, even surprising himself. "Please go to the ambulances and I will help her."

"You swear?"

"I swear."

So with the man heading regretfully towards the ambulances, McGee set to work freeing the unconscious, very pregnant young woman.

Upon examining the piece of metal, McGee found out that while it was strong, it was bendable under enough force.

After unbuckling the woman, trying to keep every hindrance out of the way, he set to work. He placed his hands on the underside of the metal, pressing as hard as he could. It started to give slightly and the door made a noticeable 'cracking' sound.

Good.

Progress.

He inhaled deeply, and then started pushing again. The metal slowly started bending upwards and pressing the door out slowly.

Finally, after a couple more pushes, he believed he had the metal twisted up enough to pull the woman out from under it, out the driver's side door.

He reached and placed his left arm under her legs and his right arm behind her back, lifting slowly and making sure he didn't hit her against the metal.

Finally free of the car, McGee carried the still-unconscious woman towards the ambulances.

"Katy!" The man's exclamation was barely heard over the raucous around them, but McGee heard him.

After passing the woman off to an EMT, he rushed back out, hoping to find even more survivors.

Ziva and Gibbs stopped just short of all of the police cars, fire trucks and ambulances and jumped out of the car before he was even completely stopped.

They rushed to the front of the convoy, not sure what they'd find.

Just as they reached the front, they saw a dirty, bruised and bloody McGee handy a young, maybe eight-year-old, girl off to en EMT, nodding, and then turning back towards the wreckage.

Losing him in the massive crowd, Gibbs wove through the people, finding the chief of police.

"Special Agent Gibbs." He greeted, holding up his badge. "Two of my men were in this wreck, one of them just ran back into it."

"Yeah, McGee..." The man nodded. "He's pulled near at least twenty people from this mess, saving every one of them."

Ziva and Gibbs exchanged a glance before Gibbs spoke again.

"Do you know about my other one, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo?" He asked.

The man nodded,

"he was critical They took him in an ambulance to Bethesda oh..Three, three and a half hours ago?"

Gibbs nodded and turned back toward the wreck.

"Ziva, take the car and go to Bethesda. Give me an update as soon as you have one." He ordered.

"What about you?" Ziva asked.

"Just go."

She nodded once before turning on her heel, walking in the direction of the car.

After a moment, McGee reappeared, this time with an infant hugged closely to his chest.

"He was alone in a pick-up." He told an EMT as he handed the baby off. "I don't know what happened to the parents."

Gibbs quickly walked towards him, grabbing his arm before he could run off again.

"McGee..."

"Boss!" He exclaimed, shocked.

"McGee, what're you doin'?" Gibbs asked, wanting to give him a headslap right then and there.

"W-What? I...I'm helping...People." He stuttered, confused. "They need help."

"McGee, look at your hands." Gibbs ordered, pulling McGee's hands up. There were deep, long gashes criss-crossing his palms.

"That was from the...The metal that I pulled out to help..." McGee trailed, his state-of-mind obviously wavering. "To help the pregnant woman."

Gibbs attempted to turn his agent towards the ambulances, when he saw a bump protruding from underneath McGee's shirt.

"McGee, don't move." Gibbs demanded.

"What, why Bo-Yowch!" He yelled, jumping away as Gibbs tenderly pressed the lump. "Oh God, that...That hurt, what did you do?"

"McGee you have a broken rib." Gibbs told him. "It's a wonder you haven't lost a lung, you need to stop and come over here and get treated-"

"Boss, I can't, the...The people..."

"Have others helping them." Gibbs interrupted. "Right now you need to help yourself."

McGee finally gave in, knowing he wasn't about to win against Gibbs, and followed him toward the ambulances and countless EMTs.

"He has broken rib, at least one but more than likely more." Gibbs informed the EMT who had come toward them. "Deep gashes in his hands and possible a concussion."

It's as if all of the remaining adrenaline and energy from McGee's body was suddenly drained a

as he collapsed, Gibbs' fast reflexes and strong arms catching him before he went all the way down.

"Come on, McGee, you'll be fine." Gibbs told him as he helped load him up into the ambulance. He placed his hand on his forehead as the EMTs started taking his vitals, brushing the dirty, wet hair away from his face.

"You've done good today, Tim."


	4. Chapter 3

_**A/N-Hey! Sorry it's been a while! Again, looking for a job still, plus some familial issues, but here it is, chapter three! Forewarning, I stink at medical explanations, so I'm sure it's gonna be awful. But nonetheless, let me know what you think! =D Love you guys!  
On a side note, this fic has surpassed all of my others in terms of alerts. This fic has 38 alerts, which is surprising considering the lack of reviews. PLEASE review people! I want to know what you think it! I really, really, really do! =D **_

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**_Chapter Three_**

"_Heroism consists of hanging on one minute longer."-Norwegian Proverb._

_Beep..._

_Beep..._

_Beep..._

Ziva David sat next to Tony's hospital bed, listening to the heart monitor slowly beep.

The beeps were getting further and further apart. The doctor's told her that there was nothing else they could do. The internal bleeding and the inter-cranial hemorrhaging was just un-fixable. Thirty minutes ago, he had at least twenty minutes left.

_Beeeep..._

_Beeeep..._

They were even further still as Ziva fought back the tears. Any minute now...

* * *

"We need to stabilize his breathing, it's becoming erratic."

"Oxygen." "Check his temperature."

Gibbs watched intently as the EMTs worked on McGee, trying hard not to think about the possibilities.

"Is he allergic to anything?" One EMT asked Gibbs, who shook his head.

"2 milligrams of hydromorphone."

He didn't know where they were, but he hoped to God they were close to the hospital as he leaned forward with his hands clasped together between his knees. He studied McGee's face.

It was bruised, bloody, pale and dirty. There was obvious pain etched in his features; his closed eyes were drooping and his lips behind the oxygen mask were chapped and bleeding.

The man that started the wreck, the 'petty thief', had died a slow death.

A piece of glass had penetrated his abdomen and since his car had went pretty far off the road, he wasn't gotten to in time. Many survivors whooped in joy, saying he deserved it.

Gibbs wanted to believe that a human is a human, and that _no one_ deserves to die that way. But with one of his agents laying in a hospital undoubtedly about to die and the other not looking far from it, Gibbs couldn't agree more.

The ambulance was slowing to a stop, just as the heart monitor hooked to McGee started beeping spastically.

"We've got to get him inside!" An EMT yelled. "He's crashing!"

* * *

_Beeeeeep..._

A sob escaped Ziva's lips as she looked down at her watch.

"1942 hours." She whispered as she gently took his scraped up hand in hers. "Oh Tony."

She wanted to punch the loud, obnoxious heart monitor as it stayed beeping, but she didn't dare turn away from Tony.

But just then, a nurse silently entered the room and slowly started turning machines off.

First, the heart monitor.  
Then, the EKG machine.  
Then, the IV dripper.  
Then, the oxygen.  
"I'm terrible sorry for your loss, Ma'am." She told Ziva softly before leaving the room.

Ziva only stared at Tony, the tears falling shamelessly. After what felt like an eternity, she pried her hand away from his and took her phone out.

"Gibbs, he...He is gone." A slight pause, then, "they're bringing McGee in now. He flatlined just as we pulled in. They're taking him to surgery."

Ziva hung up the phone, and walked to the door to find a doctor.

She already lost Tony, she wasn't about to lose McGee as well.

* * *

Waiting.  
Endless waiting.

Gibbs and Ziva sat.  
Alone.  
Waiting.

Abby, Ducky, Jimmy and Vance, along with Vivienne, Craig and Sarah McGee had all be called and were on their way, but due to the major back-up, they were forced to take longer routes. Anthony DiNozzo Sr. had been notified of his son's death and, after a string of curse words, said he would be around to confirm his son's identity and pick up the body (which, under strict orders from Vance, had been transported to Ducky's autopsy) by the weekend.

Now, Gibbs and Ziva sat.  
Alone.  
Waiting.

"Mr. Timothy McGee?"

Gibbs and Ziva jumped up from their seats at the doctor's entrance.

"Special Agent McGee." Gibbs was quick to correct.

"Ah yes, well Agent McGee suffered two cracked ribs, and one broken one." The doctor told them. "The broken one had penetrated his lung, which is what caused him to crash on the way here."

"Is he alright?" Ziva asked, anxious to here the answer. "We brought him back, repaired the lung and he's now on oxygen." The doctor continued. "He also suffered a minor concussion, but we should see no lasting effects of that. The gashes in his hands were severely infected, surprising considering the small amount of time the infection had to manifest."

"He was in that wreckage for nearly four hours." Gibbs told him.

"That explains that, then." The doctor nodded. "He has multiple bruises and lacerations about his body, but all things considered, he should make a full recovery."

"Physically, that is." Ziva couldn't help but mumble.

"Gibbs!" They all turned around, seeing the large group of people hurrying down the hallway. Abby was the one that had yelled, and she came running for Gibbs and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Not Tony. Please tell me it's a lie." She whimpered into his neck. "Please, don't...Don't let it be true."

"I'm sorry, Abs." Gibbs whispered. "I can't do that."

Wretched sobs came tumbling from Abby's lips as she collapsed into a chair. Ziva sat next to her and put her arm around her shoulder, whispering comforting words in Hebrew to her.

Ducky, Jimmy and even Vance seemed obviously distraught, yet stayed somewhat stoic and focused.

"What about Tim?" Sarah spoke up, coming forward towards the doctor. "My brother, how is he?"

"He just got out of surgery." He informed them all. "He should be transferred to the ICU any time now. When he is, family members will be able to visit, but keep in mind that he will still be heavily sedated."

At everyone's understanding nods, the doctor turned and left. "So?" Mrs. McGee spoke up. "What happened?"

_The Next Day_

"Tony can't be dead."

"Timothy, I'm sorry.."

"No, Ducky, please, he...He can't!" McGee's yell caused a few nurses outside his ICU cubicle to look up in surprise.

Ducky gave them a reassuring nod, telling them there was nothing to worry about. They had originally said only family was allowed in the ICU, but Ducky assured them that he would be perfectly fine, what with his medical degree.

So they allowed it.

"But he is. His injuries were too severe." Ducky said softly. "No, no, no, no, he told me that he'd see me later!" McGee stated loudly, but he then whispered,

"it's my fault."

"Timothy, he had inter-cranial hemorrhaging and severe internal bleeding." Ducky told her firmly. "There is absolutely nothing you could have done."

"If I hadn't of left him..."

"You told us that he told you to go, you were merely listening to him." Ducky replied.

"But if I hadn't of listened to him, he could still be alive!" McGee yelled, making himself cough profusely.

Ducky stood and started patting his back softly.

"It's alright, Timothy." He said softly. He reached over and pressed the small button that would send morphine through McGee's IV.

"Just rest, easy, my boy."

_The Next Day_

Gibbs sat next to McGee's hospital bed, watching him sleep not-so peacefully. He was whimpering and his eyes would clamp tight every now and then. His arms couldn't stay still as they moved from at his side, to across his forehead, to resting on his stomach.

Mr. and Mrs. McGee and Sarah, reluctantly listening to Gibbs, had gone to their hotel to get some much-needed rest.

Ziva, along with Vance, was at NCIS, 'holding down the fork', as she'd said, while Gibbs stayed with McGee.

Ducky and Jimmy had gone back to NCIS to perform the autopsy on Tony, a task neither man was looking forward to.

The movements had stopped, and McGee was slowly starting to wake up. Gibbs waited for him to speak so that he wouldn't startle him.

After a few minutes, McGee turned his head toward Gibbs,

"Boss?"

"Yeah, Tim."

"Please tell me it was a dream."

Gibbs swallowed hard before answering,

"it wasn't."

"I thought you'd say that."

"Tim," Gibbs started, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, "you're a hero."

"I'm not a hero."

"You are." Was Gibbs' short reply.

"No, I..I couldn't save him.." McGee stammered, tears coming to his eyes.

"Think of how many lives you _did_ save, Tim."

"No, I can't..I can't.."

"Tim, Tim! Look at me. Look at me, Tim!" Gibbs ordered, pointing at his own face.

"I messed up. I c-couldn't do it." McGee cried, looking Gibbs straight in the eye. "Don't do this, Tim. You did nothing wrong-"

"I did everything wrong!" McGee interrupted, sending himself into another coughing fit, this one shorter than the last, however.

"You did everything _right!_" Gibbs exclaimed once he stopped coughing. "You did everything EXACTLY right, Tim!"

"No..I didn't." McGee whispered. "He died, and I'm alive. How is that right?"


	5. Chapter 4

_**A/N-All I can say is sorry. =] This is the last chapter, excluding the epilogue, so stay tuned! =D Please review! =D**_

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**Chapter Four**

"_The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else." -Umberto Eco_

"Anacostia freeway is still closed down." Abby commented as she slowly spun back and forth in Tony's desk chair.

Ziva looked up, her eyebrows raised.

"Oh really?"

"Mmhmm."

"That is interesting, considering it has been nearly a week." Ziva looked back down at her computer screen.

Abby bit the inside of her cheek, her mouth twisting up,

"it feels like it's been so much longer." She said softly, running her hands across the keyboard in front of her.

"It does."

Abby sighed loudly and leaned back, her hands gripping the end of the arm rests.

"When is Gibbs gonna be back?" She asked, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "He was supposed to...To get Timmy and be back here in a half hour!"

Abby was standing by now, pacing the floor in front of Tony's and Ziva's desks. She was wringing her hands in front of her and she was obviously fighting back tears.

"Abby..." Ziva said quietly.

"I mean, the funeral is in an HOUR! We're supposed...We're supposed to be there..Soon..."

All willpower gone, Abby collapsed to her knees, the tears falling unchecked.

Ziva jumped from behind her desk and ran to Abby's side.

"Abby, everything will work out." She said softly, unsure if she should attempt to hug her, or just leave her be.

"Tony's dead, Ziva!" Abby yelled, still staring intently at the ground. "Everything will _not_ work out!"

"You have lost colleagues before, no?" Ziva asked gently, her hand resting comfortably on Abby's shoulder.

"Well, yes, but..." Abby trailed off, sniffling. "Tony wasn't just a colleague. And neither were Kate, or the director..."

"Yes, exactly, but you have moved on from those deaths." Ziva told her.

"But...I've known Tony for years!" Abby cried, falling back on her heels, but keeping her head down. "He was, he was like my brother. It's not fair."

"I loved him as well, Abby." Ziva whispered. "And it is not fair, but it is something we _must_ deal with."

"I don't know..." Abby mumbled. "I don't know...I don't think I can."

"Ready to go, Tim?"

Gibbs had been standing in the doorway to McGee's hospital room, watching him turn his NCIS shield over and over in his hand.

He shakes his head.

"I can't face his dad, his aunts and uncles." McGee whispered. "His nieces and nephews, I...I can't face them knowing it was my fault."

"It's not your fault." Gibbs replied immediately. "You saved so many people, and Tony...Tony was just one that couldn't be saved."

"But..But that's not right." McGee argued. "If I had stayed with him-"

"If you had stayed with him you would have just been in the way." Gibbs interrupted. "And neglecting your own injuries."

"I did that part already." McGee whispered, finally securing the shield to his coat.

"And it nearly killed you."

"I wish it had."

"No you don't."

McGee stayed silent, staring at the floor.

"We're going to be late if we don't leave." Gibbs said after a few minutes.

McGee only nodded and stood, groaning as he did.

"Still..Hurts, Boss." He grunted, placing a bandaged hand over his abdomen.

"I know, Tim." Gibbs replied, putting his hand on McGee's elbow and gently leading him towards the door.

"Come on."

Six 'amens' and one 'amein' resounded through the row filled with four agents, two MEs, and a scientist after the final prayer, 'amein' being Hebrew for 'so be it'.

"I can't believe he's really gone." Abby whispered, dabbing at her eyes with a black handkerchief. "It's just..Just so surreal."

McGee had his arm wrapped around her shoulder and was squeezing tightly partly to help her, partly to support himself and his aching ribs.

"It's gonna be okay." McGee whispered, grunting a bit as he did.

His breathing was labored as his lung was still extremely damaged, and standing for long periods of time was proving to be very difficult. Abby noticed the hard time he was having and turned to him concerned.

"Timmy?" She whispered as the pastor continued speaking of 'The life and times of Anthony DiNozzo'. "Are you okay?"

McGee slowly sat down in his chair, , wheezing slightly.

"I should...Be fine, Abs." He wheezed, trying to calm his breathing. "Just a little hard..To breathe."

Abby stayed standing, but kept her hand tightly gripping McGee's. The service continued at the burial plot, where the flag folding ceremony commenced, along with the gun salute.

Every time the guns would ring, McGee could feel his heart tighten.

_Tony._

_Was._

_Gone._

And it was all his fault.

So work life continued.

McGee would be on desk duty for several weeks, but he didn't mind. He was usually desk duty anyway.

An Agent Henderson had taken Tony's desk, but he'd never fill the void left by the long-since-gone agent.

Ziva's heart ached like it hadn't since she'd killed Ari.

And maybe even then some.

Of course, the love she had for Tony was insinuated, and the insinuations were mutual, but they'd never actually told each other. And that killed her.

Gibbs has not shown any emotion, save for the few tears that perked up at the funeral, since Tony's death. But inwardly, he hurt. He was in pain. His heart was broke into a billion pieces. But no one would ever know that.

McGee was psychologically cleared for work, but only because he'd learned how to hide how he _really_ felt. And he learned how to do it well.

Tony was dead, and that was his entire fault.

But he didn't tell the psychologist that.

Suicide had crossed his mind once, maybe twice.

But he didn't tell the psychologist that.

He hated himself and sometimes wished that the wreck had at least killed him, as well.

But he didn't tell the psychologist that.

But Gibbs knew that McGee was still extremely...Fragile, for lack of a better term.

He knew that he wouldn't be able to do his work.

He knew everything...He was, after all, Gibbs.

So one day, one of McGee's first days back at work, Gibbs approached McGee's desk. It was almost 19:00, and they'd had no cases. Ziva had gone home ten minutes before and Henderson, being the new 'Probie', was doing menial odd jobs around NCIS.

"Hey, Tim." Gibbs barked, his jacket on his arm.

"Boss?" Tim asked, looking up at him. Gibbs couldn't help but notice that the spark; the bright color of Tim's green eyes was...Gone.

The once sparkling grean eyes were now...Dull.

"Come on, we're leaving." He ordered, motioning.

"What?"

"We're leaving. We're going back to my place." Gibbs told him. "For some steak and beer. Come on."

Tim hesitated before shutting his computer down, and grabbing his jacket.

"Why, Boss?" He asked as he slowly followed Gibbs to the elevator. He shrugged,

"I don't know. Maybe I don't feel like eatin' alone tonight."

McGee and Gibbs sat in Gibbs dining room, the steak in front of them sizzling and the beer chilled. Neither had started eating.

"I know how hard it is, McGee." Gibbs said softly...Gently, almost. "But I wish you'd stop...Stop blaming yourself."

McGee shook his head.

There was always an ulterior motive with Gibbs...Especially if he invites you to dinner.

"It's my fault. How can I not blame myself." McGee asked spitefully. He should have known this was just going to be a trap to get him to talk. He should have known.

"McGee, I've tiptoed around you enough." Gibbs stated as he stood. He pointed his index finger at McGee, just inches away from his face. "Stop blaming yourself! Get out of this self-loathing, depression...Thing you're in, and open your eyes! He died because he was injured, not because you weren't there. You save twenty-three people that day, Tim! When are you gonna realize that you can't save everyone!"

McGee sat, stock still. He was shocked.

"B-Boss-"

_Thwack!_

"I mean it, Tim."

"...Yes, Boss."


	6. Epilogue

_**A/N-Hey! This is the epilogue, so yes, it's done now. :( But PLEASE review! I've got A LOT of 'alerts' but no near as many reviews, so please please please? Pwetty pwease with sugar on top? =]**_

* * *

**Epilogue**

_'When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.'_

"Twenty-seven people died as a result of the horrible motor vehicle accident that occurred here, on the Anacostia freeway, three weeks ago. Thirty-nine people were injured, including Special Agent Timothy McGee, here." The mayor of Washington DC, Jordan Keller, motioned toward McGee, who came to stand next to him.

"Special Agent McGee is a federal agent who was coincidentally involved in the accident. He was in no way related to the chase of Michael Ray, the petty theft that started the accident." Mayor Keller continued. "He and his partner, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, were both severely injured. Tragically, Special Agent DiNozzo did not survive his injuries, and he died within a few hours of the accident. "Special Agent McGee suffered a few fractured ribs, one of which punctured his lung quite severely. He did not know this, however, as he stayed at the crash site for nearly four hours, saving anyone he could. In total, he saved twenty-three of the thirty-eight other injured persons."

Thunderous applause broke out across the crowd. The Anacostia freeway, the exact spot where the entire accident happened, was still blocked off due to repairs and clean-up. About thirty of the original survivors were present, along with family and friends. Of course, Team Gibbs and company were present, along with McGee's parents and sister.

"I, on behalf of the District of Columbia and the survivors and the rest of country commend Special Agent Timothy McGee with this Award of Heroism, submitted to the Departments Award Committee and approved by the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. We thank you for your bravery and heroism that shown brightly even in the time of great trial."

More thunderous applause commenced as the mayor motioned for McGee to say something after handing him the medal.

"You know, I still don't consider myself a hero." McGee started as he fingered the medal. "I guess I just can't understand why someone wouldn't help someone else if they could. Although, I suppose I was really in no physical position to do so..." McGee grinned, "my partner actually told me, before they took to him to the ambulance, that I should help if I could. If I was able to. So I did. And up until maybe a week ago, I blamed myself for his death. I told myself that if I hadn't of left him, then maybe he'd have lived. If I had done something different after the wreck happened, or even if I had been the one driving, maybe, just _maybe_ something would have been different."

McGee swallowed hard, forcing back the tears that were building,

"He'd been my partner and best friend for nearly eight years. He was my brother, really, and nothing will ever change the fact that I did leave him, that I hadn't done something different, and I hadn't drove. But now I think, would it have _really_ made a difference? Would it have really willed him to live?" McGee shrugged and exhaled deeply.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I know now that it's not my fault. It never was. So now, especially with Christmas just two weeks away, I will honor Tony's memory. I will remember him as the best partner, friend and brother I have ever had, and I will never doubt myself again."

_**FINIS**_


End file.
